Patrick—
When it comes to being obsessed with alcohol, there’s a few ways you can go about it.
The most popular approach is alcoholism. If that’s the path you’re contemplating, well, just do a quick tally of the pros and cons before you take the plunge.
But the other option—which proves a tad easier on your liver, finances, and marriage—is to become an insufferable spirits snob who dedicates too much time to learning the history, flavors, industry, and pioneers comprising the world of whiskey.
If that’s the poison you pick, you might as well cut your teeth on bourbon. Fortunately for you, HULU has a phenomenal documentary about America’s native spirit.
Think a film about America’s signature liquor won’t be fascinating? Well then you’re either a pink-soaked communist or just not quite buzzed enough. Because I give “Neat” our most premier critic’s rating:
🥃 🥃 🥃 🥃 🥃
Holy s**t! That’s a big deal, Patrick.
We’ve never before awarded five glasses of New Scotland Spirits!
“This is the story of grains, water, and wood.”
So starts the narration of this 76-minute exploration of America’s history and the distillers who defined her. It’s a nostalgic, heartwarming journey through a cultural tradition that has since become a multibillion-dollar industry. And deploying a deft display of humor and emotion, the film’s contributors never stray too far from a supreme sense of gratitude for Mother Earth.
“Everything about bourbon comes from the soil,” a weathered old farmer says as a handful of dirt slips through his fingers. A truer statement there never was; the corn, the barley, the wheat, the rye, even the oak trees from which the barrels are made all derive from that mixture of sun, water, and earth.
“Bourbon is an all-natural product,” another distiller notes. “There’s nothing synthetic about it.”
The ABCs of Bourbon
One of the most interesting components of the documentary is its discussion about what makes a whiskey a bourbon. As is emphasized in the film: “Every bourbon is a whiskey, but not all whiskies are bourbon.”
So what makes a bourbon a bourbon?
A: American Made
Bourbon can be made anywhere in the United States of America, but it must be made in the United States of America.
B: Barrels
It must be aged in brand new charred white oak barrels.
C: Corn
The grain mash must consist of at least 51% corn.
D: Distillation Proof
The liquid coming off the still must be less than or equal to 160 proof (80% alcohol by volume). The higher the proof, the less flavor in the liquid.
E: Entry Proof
The liquid going into the barrels for aging must be less than or equal to 125 proof (62.5% alcohol by volume).
F: Fill Proof
The liquid going into the bottles must be greater than or equal to 80 proof (40% alcohol by volume). Bonded bourbon must be bottled at greater than or equal to 100 proof (50% alcohol by volume).
G: Genuine
Additives aren’t allowed. No coloring, no flavoring. Adding anything will render your alcohol a whiskey, not a bourbon.
The most gripping part of the film is Freddie Johnson, beloved third generation employee of the Buffalo Trace Distillery, who towards the end of the film recounts an evening with his brother and father. In his telling, they’d just opened a bottle of 20-year-old Pappy van Winkle and, after pouring a bit into each of their glasses, Freddie went to put the stopper back in the bottle.
His father stopped him. “What on earth are you doing?” he asked, stunned.
“Dad, this is a really good bottle of bourbon,” Freddie replied. “It’s really sought after.”
“I’m aware of that,” his dad said.
Still perplexed, Freddie tried to explain what seemed to be a self-evident course of action: “What I’m thinking is, I’m saving it so we can do some more toast later on.”
According to Freddie, it was then that his father explained the true spirit of whiskey.
“There will always be more old barrels of bourbon being made. Look at me, and look at your brother. We’re the fragile part of this whole thing. So never save old bottles of bourbon. They’re meant to be enjoyed with friends and family, at the moment.”
Freddie then explained to the interviewer the wisdom of his dad’s words:
“It was the first time that my father and my brother and I had spent three hours together, just us, talking, laughing. We had the best time. We finished the bottled.
Nine months later, they were both gone.”
Freddie Johnson, Buffalo Trace Distillery
Last night I was hanging out with my boy John, sharing our trials and tribulations, reminiscing about our respective combat deployments. Our thoughts flowed as freely as the bourbon which enabled them. It was a good night; it was a needed night.
And it drove home the documentary’s most important message:
“It’s not about the whiskey. It’s about the lives you touch, and the people you meet. The whiskey is a byproduct of a good relationship.”
I love ya, Pat. It’s been the honor of a lifetime to be your friend, your brother, and your fellow New Scot.
Here’s to old New Scotland.
—Jesse